Where you belong
by Mariedonovan
Summary: Frank Reagan gets a visit from a mysterious woman. He thought he could keep the secret in the past. But the woman wants something from the Commissioner. Will the secret destroy the Reagan family? And what is Jamie's role in it?
1. Chapter 1

Jamie was tired. No, he was exhausted to say the last. The night shift, he and Sergeant Renzulli have had, was almost over and he was looking forward to a hot shower and his comfortable bed. They were on their way back to the 12th precinct, after they got a call and rushed to a robbery in a supermarket. The situation was quickly cleared and the suspect under arrest. Renzulli drives the car through the streets, which led their way to the police station.

Jamie enjoys the quietness and loneliness of the city, in less than two hours the city of New York will awake and the craziness will start all over again.

„Hey Reagan, are you actually listening to a damn word I'm saying?" asked Renzulli, his gaze shifted from the street to the younger man in the passenger seat.

Jamie hasn't realized that he was staring out the window for the last 10 minutes without giving a response to his Sergeant. He moved his body and turned his head to his training officer.

„Sorry Sarge, what did you just say?"

„I said" Renzulli began again „that my goddaughter, Marie Sol, is in town, she's single and looking for a date during her stay. And I was wondering if you would like to meet her on the weekend. Maybe one Saturday, if you are free of course."

„I'm afraid I'm not Sarge I already promised my father to spend the Saturday at home. He wants to clean the garage and I was the only one around. Danny excused himself because of Linda's high school reunion and Erin is going to meet a client. And by the way, wasn't she the one, who dumped her boyfriend because he brought her the wrong chicken wings from KFC?" Jamie looked at the older man, eager to hear Renzulli's answer.

Renzulli kept his gaze on the street, slightly blushing because of the treatment by his goddaughter to her ex-boyfriend. He gave the story to its best three weeks ago, he didn't thought it would bite him in his butt so soon. Now, Marie Sol will spend the whole weekend at his house, whining and complaining about men and her life.

„So did she?" Jamie asked with a huge grin on his face, obviously enjoying the situation.

„She may or may not dump him because of that" answered Renzulli under his breath. He was cursing himself for the told story. „You will miss what, she is …" he couldn't finish his sentence because Jamie started to laugh loudly.

„Sorry Sarge, but you definitely have to find someone else for your goddaughter and you better not start at the 12th. You told too many stories about her. I'm not interested."

„Your loss" said Renzulli annoyed as he stopped the car in front of the station. He was angry at himself for telling his family stories to the younger officer.

Jamie was still laughing as he exited the squad car and walked to the entrance, moving around to wait for his sergeant. The young man was unaware of the car across the street. A pair of green female eyes was following his moving until he disappeared into the police station.

„You've grown so much my boy."

The person was holding a picture of a little boy in her hands, not older than 5 years.

„Soon you will be with your real family."

* * *

Amelia Castano was alert of the person in the doorframe, she knows that the other woman was following instructions not to leave her alone in the office of Commissioner Reagan at 1PP. She would do the same, if this was her office and he was the one visiting her unannounced. She isn't upset of the thought that Frank Reagan doesn't trust her. She actually finds it amusing that he hasn't changed. A small laugh escaped her mouth. Of course, he was getting older but he was still the same to her. He was still the handsome man with the kind smile and eyes. She wonders, if the years, which passed by, did something to his kindness. Life wasn't easy for him and sometimes she asked herself, if all this happened to him because of the fact what he did to her. She heard of the death of his beloved wife Mary. She didn't feel sorry for him but she felt sorry for his family, especially for the youngest family member, Jamie. And then, couple of years ago, his son Joseph died in the line of duty and again she felt sorry for Jamie. She could see the same pain in his eyes like years ago. Another loved one buried in front of him. He was braver and stronger this time. Not a single tear left his eyes as he stared at the casket with his brother inside, his father next to him with a protective arm around his youngest son's shoulder. Amelia remembered the day of the funeral of Frank's middle son. She was there like the day the boy had to bury his mother. She was careful that no one saw her yet she had the urge to walk over to the young man. She want to comfort and hug him, even take his pain away. But she knew better than that. She had to avoid a confrontation with a grieving father. One day, she told herself, she would be the one to lay a comforting arm around his shoulder and whispering reassuring words. And maybe this day was finally coming. A photograph of Jamie and Frank caught her eye, so she moves slowly to the cabinet behind Frank's table. The photo shows Jamie at his graduation as a police officer. His father looked at him full of proud. Amelia takes the picture frame in her hand and strokes over Jamie's frame carefully.

Detective Abigail Baker was standing in the doorframe and watching the woman in Frank's office. She was clearly annoyed by her behavior. Yes, people were coming by to see the Commissioner announced but at least they were polite enough to leave, when Baker informed them, that Mr. Reagan wasn't there. In this case, the woman stayed and ‚ _informed'_ her, that she should call Frank to tell him, that an Amelia Caetano was here to see him. She has self-confidence thought Baker, as the unknown woman opened the door to Frank's office to enter it. Baker didn't waste any time and called her boss who picked up the phone after the second ring. She immediately knew that Frank was well aware, who the person in his office is. He told her firmly not to leave Mrs. Castano alone and that he was on his way back to 1PP. She could hear him talking to Garrett, that plans have changed and that he needed to be back in his office. Also, he needed to know where Officer Reagan was. Baker was irritated by this. Why does he need to know where Jamie was? Her thoughts got interrupted as the Commissioner talked to her again. Baker confirmed the instructions not to leave Mrs. Castano alone and also not to answer any questions until his arrival.

Baker took the opportunity to survey the mysterious woman in front of her carefully. She is in her early 60's and her shoulder length hair was still black despite her age, therefore people would think that she looks younger. She is a tall woman in her creamy pumps matching her tight skirt. Baker was sure, that this woman was well aware of her appearance and the effect she has on men. The makeup, she wears, is minimal and underlines her natural beauty. But the most stunning thing on her, were these green sparkling eyes, which are too familiar for her own liking. The female detective was watching every step of Amelia in Frank's office. She is thankful that the woman wasn't asking any questions; it seems that she was more interested in all these pictures around the workplace. Especially pictures of the Commissioner's youngest son. It appears that one picture caught Amelia's interested and she moved slowly to it. It's the one of Jamie's graduation party. Baker watched as Mrs. Castano strokes over Jamie's frame absently.

„He is such a good looking young man, do you know him in person?" Amelia looked up from the picture and focused her eyes on the woman in the doorframe.

Baker was caught off guard by her question. She didn't think that the woman had any intentions in communication with her.

„Did you hear what I say?" asked Amelia a bit annoyed. She wasn't used to it, that she had to repeat simple questions.

Detective Baker was pretty sure that she could hear a slight Italian accent and wondered in what kind of relationship both, the Commissioner and this woman, stood.

„Are you not going to answer my question?" Amelia asked with a raised brown in confusion. She couldn't understand why the woman didn't answer her question. Unless, she wasn't allowed to do it, she thought.

„Did Frank give you …" Amelia couldn't finish her sentence because she was interrupted by a deep well known voice.

„It's still Commissioner Reagan even for you, Amelia" said Frank in a determined voice as he made his way through the office and came to a halt in front of her.

„What are you doing here after all this time?" Frank Reagan wasn't interested in any small talk with this woman. All the way to 1PP, he knew exactly why Amelia Castano appeared again. But he wanted to hear it from her. He wasn't willed to give it to the woman without a fight.

„It's nice to see you too, Frank. How have you been all these years?" Amelia said with a smile. She won't use the formal title for him. She focused her green eyes on him, consuming his face and studying his body. No, he hasn't changed a bit. He was still the tall, handsome man from her past.

„Detective Baker, would you please leave us alone?" Frank stated in a firm voice. He wants to get this conversation over as fast as possible. He doesn't need a witness of this exchange between Amelia and him. A witness of his mistake he made years ago. He thought, he buried the guilt deep down but now it was coming to the surface, it was already consuming him all over again. The feeling was overtaking his mind and body.

Amelia watched as Baker closed the door to leave both alone. She can feel that Frank was uncomfortable with her appearance at 1PP. Sure, here were better places to have the talk with him but she was tired of it. She wanted his attention and she will get what she wants. This time she won't back down. Amelia was foolish then, all these years back, when she believed him. She believed him, that she did the right thing. She believed his words at that time, the words that she can still be a part of his life. The anger, she felt after his betrayal was coming back once more. She never thought he would do everything to keep her away from him. Frank's empty words from the past still lingered in her head sometimes. Even after all these years she wasn't free of them.

„He has grown so much and turned into a beautiful man. You must be proud of him. He even followed you in your footsteps" Amelia said and broke the heavy silence with her comment. She looked back on the picture with a loving smile.

The smile didn't go unnoticed by Frank. He looks down at the woman he met as he was an undercover detective. They had a past together. A past Frank would like to forget. He would like to deny it even erase it from his life. But then he would deny something precious, something what have had brought so much joy and love in his life. He could never deny him.

„Yes, I am proud of him. He is a good man. Honest, caring and full of life" Frank said lovely as he took the picture frame out of her hands and put it back at its place. He then sits down in his chair, intertwines his hands and looks Amelia straight in the eyes.

„What do you want, Amelia? I know that you don't want to exchange any pleasantries and I'm pretty sure that you are also not interested in how I have been" Frank stated, his eyes not leaving hers. He is not a fool. Frank wants Amelia gone from his life again. He is afraid. No, scratch that, he is terrified but not of the woman across from him.

Frank knows what Amelia was capable of. All these years ago, when he was an undercover cop, he investigated against the Castano family full of Italian mobsters. Frank got once tricked by her entity. At this time, he didn't know what kind of person Amelia Castano was. Later, when the case was almost over, he saw what a perfect horror she was and what she did. But he hadn't any proofs and so Amelia Castano walked away without punishment. Her family wasn't as lucky as she was. Her father, brothers and uncles got locked up in prison for a long time. The empire of the Castano family was destroyed by Frank Reagan. He knew he did a good job, at least professional.

No, Frank Reagan was terrified of the truth and consequences it will bring. He is terrified to loss something he loves so much and would do everything even give his own life. The past he buried decades ago was now back to haunt him.

„So let's cut it. Come to the point but let me assure you, that the answer is no" Frank continues. Years ago, he gave himself a promise. He wanted to keep the family together after his fault. After everything what happened. First his wife died and then his son Joe. And he did keep the promise. He would lie to himself, if he would say that life was easy. It was not. After his undercover job, he worked hard on his relationship with his wife Mary. He wasn't even sure, why he did what he did. He was weak at this point of his life. He missed Mary and his children so much. Frank was tired of being undercover, away from home and his family. He closes his eyes for a second to refocus of what was coming next.


	2. Chapter 2

Amelia was watching Frank carefully. She knew that the man behind the desk was aware of her wish. He wasn't a fool then and he definitely wasn't a fool now. She remembered the first time they met. Her uncle, Andrea Castano, brought Frank to their Italian restaurant to meet the head of the family, Dante Castano. Andrea was full of awe because of Franky Jane, the catholic guy from Brooklyn. Her father was always looking for new members, who could take care of ' _other business_ ' than the usual one. Franky was the perfect guy for this kind of work. He knew how to stand his ground, had his own principles and was faithful. Franky didn't talk much maybe that's why Amelia's father liked him so much.

Dante Castano was at his lowest, his heart ripped out, when he got arrest by Franky months after their first encounter. Her father didn't see it coming neither did she. She was screaming at him, insulting him for destroying her family and her life, she even slapped him in the face. Frank grabbed her wrists to stop the next attack and pinned her arm tightly down at each side of her body. This was the moment he saw the baby bump for the first time. Frank's face showed nothing but horror and his brown eyes were full of angst. She watched as he took a step back from her, his eyes glued to the stomach. He tried to formulate words but it was impossible for him to speak them. It seemed that his mouth wasn't capable to express the needed words. Before Frank could indeed speak up, Amelia could feel a hand around her upper arm, which led her away from him and into a waiting police car. She was looking at him with unshed tears in her eyes, too stubborn and pride to let them fall, when the car started to move into the night and away from Franky Jane. The man she thought she knew so well, the man who was responsible for the situation she was in, the man she trusted with her heart.

Amelia shook her head to get rid of the unpleasant memory. On this day she knew not to trust Frank Reagan ever again. But she did, she did trust him one more time and it costed her everything. All these years she wondered, how her life would have been without the day her uncle brought Frank into her life. She knows she can't take it back or even turn back the clock. She can't forgive herself that she gave up the one thing in her life she loved unconditionally at the first sight. But she was young, stupid and got fooled by a man she trusted so much.

Amelia heard what Frank said. The harsh tone his voice was obviously knew to her.

"The answer can't be no" she said calmly.

Before she made her first step into 1PP, she swore to herself, to get what belonged to her the entire time. It is her her right, her right to be a part of his life.

"Your right?" Frank asked amused.

Amelia didn't realize she said the last words out loud.

"You lost your right to be in his life the moment you gave him in my care voluntarily. You gave up all your privileges then" Frank stated sternly. He was getting impatient because of Amelia's insolence. Frank could feel the anger bubbling inside of him.

"You made me do it. It was your fault, you were the one who destroyed my family and life. You gave me no other way out, so don't you dare to say it" Amelia almost screamed. She was out of her mind.

"Jamie is my son, too. You can't keep him away from me. He has the right to meet his mother. I am the woman who gave birth to him. The woman who …" Amelia wasn't able to finish her sentence because of Frank's fist, which banged loudly on his desk.

"Exactly" he spoke harshly " you gave birth to him. This is it. Birth only. You weren't there, when he made his first steps. You weren't around, when he said his first word" Frank breathed in deep. He wanted to hurt Amelia and he knew that the next words will do its affect "his first word was mommy. Jamie called Mary mommy" Frank could see that he hit the right spot. Amelia's face became stony. She knew well, that Jamie was raised by another woman and that he called her mom. She had tried to put a wall up against it but it still felt like a stab to the heart. Frank's word hurt her.

"This isn't over, Frank. Jamie belongs to me and I will fight for my son. I didn't do it in the past and I will never forgive myself for that" Amelia said truthfully. "You can't keep him away from me, one day our paths will cross. You can't shield him from me all the time. You will not see it coming. Jamie will hate you for what you did and that you never told him. You have lied to our son since the day he was born. He grew up without the knowledge of who I am. And let me assure you that this time is over now. You better watch out Frank because your lie will blow up in your face. You will lose the control of the situation. Now, it's my turn to destroy your family and your life" Amelia spitted out. "Have a nice day, Commissioner Reagan. Make sure to get some rest. You will need it." Without another word Amelia stood up from her chair and walked to the door. She made her point. Amelia won't back off until she got what was hers.

Frank was still sitting in his chair, in the same positions, unaware of how much time passed since Amelia left his office. He was glad that Baker had the decency not to disturb him. Frank wasn't in the mood to explain what happened in his office. He felt tired liked he had aged 10 years since he woke up this morning. The Commissioner was unable to move after the talk he had with Amelia, her threat still lingering on his mind. Was this really happening, he wondered. He can feel the start of a migraine in his head. Frank needed a drink. So he stood up on unstable legs and made his way through the office. He wasn't the typical drinker, he thought about himself but he needed something strong to calm his nerves. So he grabbed the bottle of Scotch and a glass and loosened his tie on the way back to the office desk. Frank eyed the bottle of Scotch in his hand. How ironic, he thought. Jamie was the one who gave him the bottle as a Father's Day present. His little boy. Frank's mind wandered back to Amelia's threat. He knew he has to take it serious. So what can he do to protect his son, he thought while he filled his glass with Scotch. He didn't hesitate long with his first drink and in one gulp it was empty. The burn, he felt in his throat, was a welcome distraction.

Frank felt the sudden urge to talk to his son thus he dialed Jamie's number on his phone. He wanted to hear his voice and to be assured that his youngest was okay. He totally forgot that Garrett mentioned, during their drive back to 1PP, that Jamie had the night shift and was probably sleeping at home.

"Yeah?" answered a sleepy voice after some ringing.

"Hey Jamie, it's dad" Frank said slightly irritated by his son's groggy voice and then the penny dropped. He remembered what Garrett had told him. "Did I wake you up?" He could curse himself for calling his boy, clearly tired from the night shift he had. "I will call you later. Sleep well, my son." He was about to end the call when heard Jamie's voice.

"Did something happen, dad?" Jamie was awake now. Yes, his dad called him randomly but something told him that this call was different from all the other ones he ever received. He could literally hear his father's uncertainty through the line. "Dad, did you hear what I say?" Jamie asked unsure after he got no response.

Frank heard his son well. He was debating with himself whether to come clean with Jamie. He deserves the truth. After all he deserves it yet Frank was afraid what box of Pandora he may open with the truth. Frank considered his options: If he would tell Jamie the truth it would mean to lose his son for good. If he doesn't tell him he would have the same result. Either way, Frank had his back against the wall. Amelia was right, Jamie will hate him for what he did and that he never told him. He will lose his son. No, he can't lose him. He just can't. He can't lose his precious little boy. Frank couldn't live without Jamie in his life. He knew how selfish this must sound and he was ashamed of himself for the way he thought. Frank was at loose ends. He didn't know how to handle the situation any longer. But one thing was clear, he didn't want to hurt his son. Jamie already went through a lot during his life. This would destroy him. It would tear him apart. No, he can't. He can't hurt his son with a mistake he did.

"Yes, I heard you and no, nothing happened" Frank said sadly. "I just called you to make sure that you're still coming over on Saturday. Your grandfather wants to cook your favorite dish." His thoughts were spinning and he wasn't sure whether or not he needed to throw up. Also, Frank wasn't even sure if this lame excuse will reassure his son from the strange call and his odd behaviour. Maybe another drink would settle his nerves and stomach.

Jamie wasn't convinced about the repley his father gave him. He was too exhausted to think about it properly, so het let it go for the moment. He knew that this father had a lot of stress lately, at least this would explain his unusual act. "Yeah, I'm still coming over and tell gramps thank you" Jamie said fuzzy stifling a yawn. He just wanted to lie down again and catch up on some needed sleep.

"I will. See you soon, my son" Frank was glad that he could finally end the call. The blame for not coming clean with Jamie was consuming him. What has he done, Frank asked himself as he filled his second glass full of brown liquid. He put the glass to his slips and like the first one, he drunk it at one gulp and like the first time he welcomed the burn.

* * *

The rest of the week went by uneventful and Jamie was looking forward to spend the following day with his father and grandpa. Just some more hours and his shift would be over and then he could enjoy his weekend off duty. Renzulli and Jamie were patrolling in Lower Manhattan and like every other day the streets were full of tourists and busy business people making their way through the crowded City of New York. It was almost lunch hour for the police officers and Renzulli was talking all morning about the Mexican food truck his cousin owned. According to Renzulli, his cousin Jose, sold the best tacos in the city.

Jamie was listening halfheartedly to the statements by his training officer, he still had the odd call from his father on mind. He couldn't exactly pinpoint what confused him more, the odd call itself or the weird behavior. It might be both or maybe Jamie was just interpreting too much into it. His father was the Police Commissioner of New York City for God's sake. He surely had a day full of meetings ahead of him and just wanted to catch up with him yet his father's thoughts were already elsewhere and that's why he was so strange. Nothing he had to worry about, Jamie thought. But still, he couldn't get rid of this feeling. His gut was telling him that something was off with his father. But what was it? What was his father not telling him. Was he seeing or even in a relationship with someone and therefore too afraid to tell him, Jamie wondered. He wouldn't be mad at his father for that. His father was alone for quite some time now and Jamie would understand if his father was looking for a new love interest. That didn't mean his father would betray his mother.

Jamie's mind was so distracted with his father that he wasn't spending any attention on his surroundings on the street. If he would have spent some attention, he would have see the woman coming in his direction. Like him, she wasn't spending any attention to the world around her either. Even Renzulli couldn't react as fast as possible to prevent the upcoming collision between his young rookie and the woman.

The impact came unexpected for Jamie and he almost lost his stability as he stumbled backward right into the arms of Renzulli.

The woman who ran into him wasn't as lucky as Jamie. No one was there to prevent her falling as she lost her footing and her body made contact with the solid ground of the street. A small whimper left her lips.

For some seconds nobody made a move. All three involved persons were clearly shocked by what had just happened. After some time Renzulli was the first who regained his composure. He helped Jamie to stabilize himself and gave his rookie a quick once over to make sure that he was alright. The police sergeant could see that the younger man was startled by the situation.

"Ma'am, are you okay?" Renzulli asked and offered the woman his hand to help her off the ground, which she took gladly. When she was back on her feet, Renzulli took his time to eye the woman of any injuries.

"Ma'am, did you hear what my colleague asked you, are you okay?" this time it was Jamie who spoke up. He felt sorry for the accident. The young man was so distracted by his thoughts that he didn't give any care to his environment. This was dangerous, Jamie thought. He was a police officer for crying out loud. He was on duty and has to spend attention to everyone and everything around him. Jamie looked the woman up and down and let out a sigh of relief as he could see that the woman was unharmed.

"Yes, I'm okay, thanks" she said a little bit shaken.

Jamie felt miserable for the condition she was in. He saw that woman was looking around, searching for something on the ground. He viewed her cell phone, which flew out of her hands during the collision.

"I feel really sorry for the accident" Jamie said after he picked the phone up and handed it over to her "my name is Officer Reagan."

The woman smiled and took it out of his hand.

"Amelia Castano. It's nice to meet you."


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note:

Star1X: Yes, this story is set in season 1 and 2.

Amelia's idea to bump into Jamie wasn't planned. She wanted to watch her son from far away like she did the day, when Jamie had the night shift and showed up in front of the police station. She always has the photo of her son in her handbag, carrying it around since the day it was taken.

Amelia could remember the day well, when Jamie was a five year old boy, running around on the playground in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. On this warm day in June, Amelia just set on a bench, an amused smile playing around her lips as she watched her son swinging. His squealing was full of excitement as he tried to swing as high as possible with his little legs. Amelia used the opportunity to take a picture of her little boy who had the brightest smile on his face she has had ever seen. Little did she know on this day, that the years, which will follow after the day in the park, were meant for the mother to keep her distance from her son.

But Amelia was getting tired after more than two decades of watching her son from far away, not able to communicate with her own blood. The desire to finally meet him in person was almost unbearable. She couldn't wait any longer. Amelia just wanted to talk to her son. So her plan was quickly formed in her head.

As she was walking down the street, heading in Jamie's direction, she could see, that the young officer wasn't focused, his mind miles away. Something seemed to bother him and this could be her luck, with Jamie being distracted she could easily follow her plan.

So Amelia pretended to be typing busy on her cell phone. For anyone around her she would seem so engrossed in it. For any bystander it would appear like a typical situation for New York. A person too distracted by the phone not realizing the upcoming collision. Nobody would think that this accident was actually a set up.

Though Amelia was prepared and did know, what was about to happen, she was surprised by the firm impact. She tripped backward and could feel how her legs gave away and let out a small whimper as her body made contact with the hard asphalt.

Everything happened so quickly that Amelia was a bit confused, why she found herself on the ground, looking up at Jamie and the older police officer he was with. She needed some time to process that she indeed fall to the ground because of the collision.

Amelia took several breaths to calm her beating heart and to regain her composure. She didn't expect the collision to be that hard at the end. _No, it wasn't her intention to find herself on New York's asphalt_ , she thought. She shifted her eyes back at Jamie, who was truly stunned and got stabilized by the older police officer.

The same man was the first to offer her his hand and she could hear him asking her something as she was getting off the ground, but Amelia was too fascinated by the fact that Jamie got her eyes. He inherited her eyes. The same sparkling green eyes she has. For sure, he was his father's son but he has her eyes and Amelia couldn't wonder what kind of person Jamie was. Frank already stated that their son was honest and caring but was he also ambitious, incorruptible and strong minded like her.

"Ma'am, did you hear what my colleague asked you? Are you okay?" her thoughts got interrupted by Jamie.

Amelia looked herself up and down to make sure she hasn't got any injuries. She still felt unsteady on her legs and a bit disordered, but all in all she was okay.

"Yes, I'm good, thanks" she said a little bit shaken. Her eyes were scanning the ground for her phone, which she lost during the collision. She could see that Jamie was picking it off the ground and handed it over to her.

"I feel really sorry for the accident. My name is Officer Reagan."

"Amelia Castano. It's nice to meet you" she said and took her phone out of his hand.

Amelia was about to slide her phone back into her handbag as she realized that something sharp picked her palm. She turned the phone to its front just to see the broken display with little glass fragments. Her gaze shifted from her phone to Jamie, who watched each of her movement.

"I will cover the costs, Mrs. Castano" Jamie said quickly. The young officer got his notepad out of his side pocket, took his pencil and wrote his name and phone number down, he then hold the paper to a puzzled Amelia to take it from him.

" I …"

"I insist" Jamie said with emphasis.

Amelia locked eyes with the young man infront of her and weigh her words: "Under two conditions, first: It was my mistake as well, that the collision happened in the first place, I was so engrossed in my phone that I wasn't looking, so we gonna split the bill for the broken display. And second: Please call me Amelia, Mrs. Castano is way too formal"

"Then you can call me Jamie."

Amelia's lips turned into a smile, her plan was better than she expected it to be. Her thoughts got interrupted by Renzulli's voice, informing Jamie that they have to leave.

"Just give me a call ..." Jamie said and added softly "and I'm really sorry."

Amelia just nodded and waved him off. "Have a good day, Jamie."

"You, too"

* * *

"Dad! Dad! I can't find it, are you sure it is here?" Jamie was yelling from inside the garage with his back to the driveway. He was supposed to " _actually_ " clean the garage from old stuff like he promised his father but instead he was spending the last 10 minutes rooming through boxes, looking for Danny's old high school yearbook.

Jamie was determined to proof Renzulli that Danny was for sure a member of the poetry club back in the days. He just left out a pretty important detail: Danny didn't join the after school activity voluntarily. _Payback is a bitch_ , Jamie thought devilish. The next box he opened was full of old family photos. A small smile spread across his face as he found a photo of his siblings and him. Jamie could recall the day well when the photo was taken. The whole family was on the beach and enjoyed the last days of summer on Coney Island. Danny was already a teenager and posed like a muscle man for the photo. Erin stood next to the eldest sibling, her eyes rolled in annoyance, showing clearly how she felt about the stupid behaviour of her older brother. Beside Erin was Joe, who had a protective arm around the youngest member of the Reagan clan. Both boys had tanned skin from the sun and wore cheeky smiles for the camera. Jamie felt so happy on that day, he really thought life would be like this all the time: a life full of beach days and happiness. The moment was captured by their mother for the eternity but not the people in it. Jamie sight at the thought of Joe, his heart heavy and full of grieve for the older brother he lost and still missed so much. _Would his life be different if Joe was still around? Would Joe be proud of the man he was now_ , Jamie thought. His thoughts got interrupted by footsteps, which slowly approached from behind his back.

"Dad, do you …?" Jamie asked as he was turning around just to stop mid-sentence, confused as his eyes weren't met with the face of his father but with Amelia Castano instead.

"Jamie, what a surprise" Amelia said, her face crinkled with happiness. She was watching Jamie for the last 30 minutes from her car across the street. Amelia knew the risk of approaching him at Frank's house but she couldn't deny the desire for her son. She literally longed for him. So she didn't care if Frank would show up, she was sure that he wouldn't do anything stupid and definitely would avoid a confrontation in front of their child.

"Amelia, what are you doing here?" Jamie asked perplexed, he expected his dad or even his grandfather for that matter but not the woman he bumped into the day before.

"I visited some friends down the street and was on my way back to the car when I saw you" she lied. Amelia was prepared, she knew Jamie would ask her that. He was a cop and Frank's son after all.

"How are you feeling after, um, the accident?" Jamie still felt miserable about what happened the day before. He could kick his own butt for the stupid rookie mistake he made. Renzulli kept telling him to always pay attention, no matter what was going on in his personal life.

"A little bit sore but all in all pretty good" Amelia answered. She could sense that the collision still upset the young man. "You don't have to worry any longer, you apologized once and don't forget it was my mistake as well" she continued fairly.

Jamie gave her a small smile and looked back at the photo, he still had in his hand. Amelia followed his gaze curiously to the photo but couldn't exactly see what it showed.

"A family photo?"

"Yes, it is" Jamie answered softly without looking up. "The photo shows my siblings and I on Coney Island back in the days. I thought that this day would never end. I was so happy and carefree. It's funny how things went. I miss these days, I miss my brother Joe and …" Jamie suddenly stopped and quickly looked up. He just realized that he was talking about his dead brother to a woman he barely knew.

"Sorry, I …"

"It's ok to miss someone and you don't have to be sorry about it" Amelia said, cutting Jamie off. "My son was taken away from me years ago by his father. I miss him every day so I can relate how you feel."

"I'm sorry for your loss" Jamie said sincere. He will never understand how a parent could take away a child. It was unintelligible.

"You don't have to. One day he will come back to me."

"He will." Jamie didn't know what else to say. As a cop, he unfortunately knew, how those family tragedies usually end: either the parent -who _kidnapped_ the child- gets arrested for the crime or the child and the parent will never be seen again because they already left the country. That's the way it is, sad to say. But it wasn't Jamie's intention to take Amelia's hope away. The woman in front of him was obviously suffering and she could use all the hope. He can't imagine what kind of pain she must feel.

"I should go" Amelia said after some seconds "it was nice to see you again, Jamie." She offers the young man her hand, which he accepts.

"Have a good day, Amelia. See you soon." Jamie didn't know that this careless remark was coming to be true sooner or later, because Amelia was already planning the next encounter with her son. She wants Jamie in her life at all costs and she always gets what she wants.

Jamie's eyes followed Amelia to her car and down the street until she drove around the corner and was gone. Only now, Jamie realized that he hasn't asked her about the broken phone display and the costs.

The young man spent some more minutes rooming through old boxes looking for the said yearbook until his stomach started to grumble. So Jamie closed the garage gate, walked up the few steps to the front door and went through it as his grandfather appeared from another room.

"Did you talk to someone outside, Jamie?" his grandfather asked in wonder.

"Yeah, I did" Jamie answered casually as he went further into the house, Henry following his youngest grandchild hot on his heels.

"And, who is she?" Henry was pretty sure that the other voice was definitely a female one.

"Who is who?" Frank asked looking up from his newspaper. He was sitting at the table, drinking his second cup of morning coffee while both men entered the kitchen. Jamie went straight to the cupboard to help himself with a bag of cookies, ignoring his father's question. He wasn't in the mood to talk about Amelia and _the accident_. He felt ashamed in front of his father and grandfather for the lack of attention, which led to the collision. _What a rookie mistake_ , Jamie thought. How often did not only Renzulli told him but also his father to spend attention when he was on duty. It was not only his life, which was on the line, no, he was responsible for his partner's life, too.

"Jamie?" Henry asked gently.

"I bumped into a woman yesterday."

"Bumped into?" his grandfather said laughing. "I hope the woman wasn't hurt?"

"No, she wasn't" Jamie stated gladly. "I just broke the display of her phone so I gave Amelia my number to …"

"Amelia?" Frank suddenly asked.

"Yep, Amelia." Jamie said swallowing his cookie. "Amelia Castano" he specified. "Do you know her?"

Frank's stomach immediately clenched. Amelia Castano. That cannot be. _What are the odds that this woman was really Amelia Castano_ , Frank thought. The same woman who visited him in his office few days ago, the woman who threatened him and then left him in a state of guilt and angst.

"How does she look like, Jamie?" Frank asked in a raspy voice. He needed to know. Frank needed to know if this woman was after all the same Amelia Castano. He knew it was funny to think otherwise. The name Castano was rare in New York especially in connection with the first name Amelia.

"She is in her 60's, black shoulder length hair, Italian accent and …"

Frank zoomed out, his face pale. She was here. Amelia really had the boldness to contact his son. He knew her threat wasn't just thoughtlessly stated. She was quite serious about it. Frank could see it in her eyes the day she was in his office. She wants a relationship with his son, come what may. _In the end_ , Frank thought, _Jamie was her son, too._

"... Francis? Are you good? You look pale" Henry said in a concerned voice.

Frank shifted his gaze between his son and his father, who both were looking at him with worried faces.

"I'm good" Frank stumbled, feeling Jamie's eyes on him "I just remembered that I have to go. I've forgotten about the meeting with Garrett at 1PP" he continued, his voice somewhat shaky. He could catch a glimpse of Jamie's face as he rose from his chair, his face showed a mix of curiosity and expectation "I … just have to go" Frank left the kitchen at a rapid space. Before he left through the front door, he grabbed his car keys and coat. Everything was spinning in Frank's head as he finally could sit in his car. He somehow managed to start the engine with shaky hands and left the driveway to make his way into town. He has only one thought on his mind: to contact the woman who was responsible for all of this.

Jamie and Henry were clearly taken aback by the sudden leave of Frank. Jamie didn't quite understand what has gotten into his father after he said Amelia's name. D _oes his father know Amelia? Was it even possible that both knew each other. Maybe from the past_ , Jamie summarized. What was wrong with his father lately, he wasn't himself since the odd call some days ago. Jamie was determined to find out what was wrong with his father. He would wait for his old man until he will come back from whatever _meeting_ he went to.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's note: I just wanted to thank the people, who always leave a review.

Frank still couldn't believe that Amelia contacted his son, not only once but twice in the last few days. _How dare she_ , Frank thought. He made himself clear, that Amelia gave up every right to be in Jamie's life, the day she appeared at 1PP. He won't tolerate any more encounters.

Frank knew exactly where to find Amelia. There was only one place in the city and he was determined to come to it in record time. The restaurant in Little Italy, which owned Amelia's family for decades, was once an important trading center for drugs and guns. The Castano family was good in business and half Little Italy was under their power. No one dared to talk to the police about the mob family and their unconvinced deals. It was Frank, who got into the family business and destroyed it from the inside. He spent months of observing the Castanos and learned everything about the family structure. Therefore, he knew exactly what to do and how to pleasant the family. Frank knew, that Dante Castano was always looking for new _employees_ and that his brother, Andrea Castano, was his way in. It took some weeks to get Andrea's attention and then several more weeks to finally meet the head of the family.

Dante Castano was quite the imposing figure then. Frank remembered him as a tall and impressive man with brown eyes with a hint of green inside, short black hair and with an expansive taste, when it comes to fashion: tailored Italian suits were his trademark. Dante's words were powerful and he was respected and feared at the same time.

Frank hasn't seen Dante in years. The last time he saw the old mobster was, when he was in the courtroom to make his testimony against the Castano family. Amelia was also there. She spent every day of the hearing in court, supporting and helping her family through this. Her posture showed self-confidence but Frank knew that she was afraid of the unknown future ahead of her. She was about to lose everything what she once knew and if this wasn't enough, she was also caring a baby from _the man_ , who was responsible for her sorrow. Each time, Frank and Amelia's gaze met in the courtroom, her eyes literally shot daggers at him. She clearly knew, who deserved all her hate. Frank tried numerous times to get in contact with Amelia. It was in his interest to talk to her about the baby but always got the cold shoulder.

Frank arrived in front of the restaurant 20 Minutes after he left the house abruptly. The spinning in his head got only worst, so he stayed in the car to sort his thoughts. His mind went back to the day of the verdict. As head of the mob family and therefore head of the crime, Dante Castano, was punished for more than 20 years in prison. His brothers, among them Andrea Castano, went behind bars for more than 10 years. Frank will never forget the shocked and disbelieved face of Amelia and the unaware, gentle touch to her baby bump. She swallowed hard and locked eyes with Frank. He could see it, he could see it in her eyes, the mix of despair, sadness and disgust against him. Frank should never seen so much hate again.

Frank shook his head to get rid of those unpleasant thoughts. So many years went by without the name Castano in his life, nevertheless, he always had the feeling, deep down, that Amelia would come back eventually. And Frank was confident of himself, that he would be prepared for this day. "No", he whispered bitterly, "I have been naive all those years." _He should have made arrangements or should have do things differently, but could you even be prepared for this_ , he thought in defence. Frank let out a sigh, his hands still on the steering wheel, his knuckles already white form the cramped grip. Now, was not the time to drown in sorrow. He knew that hell was about to break loose but he won't, he couldn't back down. Jamie belonged to him and only to him and with that thought, he opened the door and excited his car.

Frank was almost across the street as he came to a suppen stop mid-way. Even after all these time, the four floor stone house out of the late 80's - with the included restaurant on the ground floor - still looked the same. It was still painted in this rusty red Frank hated so much and even after all the years no one took care of the crumbling rendering. The green, white and red colored awnings were still dirty and frayed by the harsh wind of New York. All in all, Frank summarized, the house made the same miserable impression like 25 years ago. _How he hated this place_ , he thought. Frank promised himself after the case, that he won't ever come back to the restaurant and that the things, which happened in the past, would be stay in the past for good. Oh boy was he wrong. Frank was about to lose his mind over the situation. His thoughts were spinning around and made him dizzy. "How am I supposed to handle it?" Frank asked no one in particular. He wasn't ready for the upcoming fight with Amelia. His emotions got the upper hand of him and he left the house so quickly, that he had no time to clearly think about his actions. _Even if Jamie didn't suspect something, now he will_ , Frank thought angrily. His odd behavior lately wasn't helping either. Frank let out a long sigh: it wasn't the time to blame himself. He couldn't turn around and leave, no, he now stood in front of the restaurant where it all started and Frank was determined to proof his point. Jamie belonged to him. And without another thought, Frank opened the door and went into the restaurant.

A smell of cigar smoke mixed with Italian food lingered in the air. Frank recognized the smell immediately, only one member of the Castano family smoked cigars with a hint of vanilla inside. Even after all this time, he knew exactly who was present. Actually, he wanted to avoid a confrontation with the old mobster. Frank wasn't in the mood to talk to Dante. He was here to make clear, for once and for all, that Amelia needed to step away from Jamie. These run-ins had to stop.

Frank could see Dante through the wooden partition, which separated the entrance with the sitting area of the restaurant. The old man was sitting at a table, reading the newspaper with the said cigar between his fingers. It seemed that the mobster was unaware of Frank's presence, so he used the opportunity to take in Dante's appearance. The once black hair was now grey and spare. The mobster's face was half hidden behind the newspaper but what Frank could see, showed him, that the time in prison didn't go by without marks. Dante's skin looked wrinkled, thin and chapped and he definitely lost a good among of weight. The once fresh-faced was now covered with deep lines. Regardless to his outward appearance, the old lad hasn't lost his fashion sense. The Italian three piece suit looked expansive and tailor-made on him.

Frank had to clear his throat to get the attention from the mobster, who was too engrossed into his newspaper.

"Franky Jane, long time no see" Dante said in an amused voice as Frank rounded the wooden partition. "... or is it Frank Reagan, Mr Reagan or even Commissioner Reagan for me? I have to apologize, I don't know how to address you correctly after all these years" Dante chuckled slightly.

"Commissioner Reagan is just fine" Frank said with no emotion in his voice. He didn't come here to discuss his status. He was here to talk to Amelia and only Amelia. Frank's gaze wandered through the restaurant and a small smile appeared on his lips: not only looked the house still the same after all these time, no, even the furniture looked the same. They still got these round tables with the ugly olive tablecloths on it.

"My daughter took good care of the business during my absence" Dante spoke up and looked straight at Frank. "It wasn't easy for her yet she did the best out of the situation."

Frank knew exactly what kind of business Dante was talking about and it was not the restaurant. "Amelia always knew how to help herself even if it was illegal. I'm pretty sure _the restaurant_ was in good hands" he scoffed. Frank made sure to emphasize the word restaurant. "But I am not here to talk about the family business but …"

"True, you are here to talk about the family itself" Dante said knowing, cutting Frank off. A smugly smile appeared on the older man's face as he continued "how's my grandson doing by the way? As a father you must be proud that he became a police officer. Stepped into your footprints and therefore into your own family business."

Frank's face got slightly tense. He always wondered, if Amelia told Dante, who the father of the baby is. Now, he knew it for sure.

"Amelia was in tears as she told me that the baby's father, the man is, who destroyed everything we ever worked for. To say I wasn't furious would be an understatement" Dante's tone was serious. "It took me some time to forgive her but in the end, we were all folded by you and it wasn't her mistake."

Frank didn't know what to say to the old man. Dante was right, it wasn't Amelia's fault and he felt sorry that she was the one, who suffered the most in the end.

"I'm not here to discuss whose mistake it was or not" Frank said, his voice stern. "Where is Amelia?"

* * *

It was already dark when Frank re-entered his house in Bay Ridge. He felt beaten and tired. The confrontation with Amelia didn't go as planned. What had he even thought, that Amelia would back off voluntarily, if he would ask her nicely? No, of course not, it wouldn't be this easy. Frank was honest to himself, he took Jamie away from her but he did it with the best interest at heart. His son deserved to be more than just a mobster. His boy deserved so much more. Frank entered his study room and went straight to his table to turn on the desk light. _He was back at the beginning_ , he thought, _he hasn't made the slightest progress._ _He was …_

"Who is Amelia Castano?" asked a voice coming out of the dark corner.

Frank abruptly turned around, startled by the voice of his youngest son. "What?" he asked confused.

"Amelia Castano" Jamie repeated "it seems to me that you know her."

Frank swallowed the lump in this throat. He stood stock still, alarm clearly written all over his face. He wasn't sure, if Jamie could see his face properly because of the dim light in the room.

"So you know her" Jamie stated, taking Frank's silence as an answer.

"What makes you think that?"

"Oh, I don't know" Jamie said amused, getting up from the armchair in the corner. "Maybe the fact, that you got all pale and left the house like a maniac after I said her name."

Frank gazed silently at his son, totally overwhelmed by the situation.

"So?" Jamie pressed, studying his father's face carefully.

Frank's head was spinning again. He didn't know where to begin. Should he come clean with his son or should he hold back the truth. _What was the right decision_ , he thought.

"I don't know what you mean, son."

"You don't know" Jamie repeated, his voice mocking "it's a simple question: do you know her or not?" Jamie took some steps forward, so that he was almost in front of his father. "What are you keeping from me?" Jamie stressed. He could feel the anger building inside of him. Damn this Irish temperament.

Frank wasn't sure what to think or what to feel. What he definitely knew, was, that this wasn't the right time to tell his son. _If there would ever be the right time for the truth_ , Frank thought sadly.

"Don't jump to conclusions, son" Frank sighed, turning around, so that his back was now to Jamie. "I'm not keeping anything from you."

"Then answer my question. Do you know Amelia Castano or do you know her not?"

Frank felt miserable. He was cursing Amelia in his head. This woman only brought pain and anger.

"No, I don't know her" Frank stated.

"Then say it in my face. Turn around and say it again because I don't believe you" Jamie cried. The young man felt betrayed by his father. He could feel that his old man wasn't telling him the truth, but why? "What are you hiding from me? You are acting strange lately. First, the odd call I received from you, stumbling something about if I'm still coming by on Saturday and then, your strange behavior when I said Amelia's name, and oh, don't forget your lame excuse as you left the house like a madman. So, dad, I'm sorry if I jump to conclusions but are you in a relationship with her? Are you in love with her? How long do you know each …"

"That's enough, Jameson" Frank snapped, turning around. Jamie took a step back, clearly shocked and confused by his father's outburst.

"I already told you, that I don't know that woman and I don't care if you believe me or not because you are not in the position to question my words. Are we clear?" Frank said harshly. It wasn't his intention to snap at Jamie but his son got to his sore point.

"Crystal clear, Sir" Jamie answered sarcastically.

* * *

Frank was sitting alone in his dark study room, Jamie long gone after the argument father and son had. _Amelia was right_ , Frank thought. He was about to lose control of the situation and the lie was already starting to blow in his face. He felt beaten, lost and tired. The glass with the brown liquor in his hand wouldn't bring him the needed effect: to numb his feeling.

 _The lie was going to destroy his family._


End file.
